I'm slacking on this thing. I've been too frustrated about our house situation to think about much else. We turned in our 30 day notice to vacate on my birthday and apparently me being cocky and confident about it could possibly be a mistake. And after the Newtown shooting I haven't felt anything positive, or funny. I feel like if there isn't at least a little bit of humor to go with it, it isn't really worth sharing. Every morning when Brayden walks to the bus stop I want to hold his hand and hug him and embarrass the hell out of him. Maybe even blow him kisses as the bus pulls away. But I refrain and let him walk alone. He's 10 and wants to be cool and fit in. I don't like it.
I normally have a weekly cleaning routine and we keep a clean home. So yesterday I cleaned our toilets for the first time in 3 weeks (I'm so ashamed, I know, you don't have to tell me). Seriously, I haven't wanted to do shit but pack and MOVE. Our front room is full of boxes and random stuff we've piled up in preparation for moving day. As if it's happening tomorrow. For the past month I keep telling myself, oh, only one more week and we will be outta here and i'll do the big final clean then. Yeah right. Every day I tell our dog Sierra who is DYING to run like an escaped convict and chase squirrels, just one more week Sierra. I promise.
It's getting ridiculous. Our loan was approved by the bank 4 weeks ago. FOUR!! We are waiting on rural housing and I could scream. I guess it's our own fault for doing this. What government agency makes people wait weeks for something and possibly lose their home and minds. In Utah this wouldn't happen. The last time we did it, it took a week. If they needed something from me and I took 4 weeks, I'd be in the big house. While paying interest.
So, like I said before, we weren't going to decorate for Christmas because we were supposed to be in the house. We threaten the kids with Santa not coming as a bartering tactic for good behavior, I know poor parenting. But these kids seriously only "play" together to piss each other off. Anyway, they look at us like we are morons, its not Christmas? Bryan finally caved and brought home a few bins of decorations and we put out a few things. Ally and I made an awesome paper chain and we all made snow flakes to dress it up. And last night we bought a little live tree, put some lights and lil balls on it and called it Christmas.
Don't mind the husband in the background, or the mess. Just admire the beautiful snow flakes. The part I really like will be planting the tree in our yard, it's real, it won't die and be tossed to the curb or stuffed back in the box like our artificial tree. It will serve as a great memory of the time we spent in this apartment, to remind me that it can always be worse, to be grateful of each other and what we have. I am truly blessed to have my family and a roof over my head. Next year Bryan is certain we will do a real tree and hang it up side down from the feeling, a family tradition on his Dad's side that in our years together, we have never done. I am really looking forward to it. I am still hopeful we will be moved be the end of the year, otherwise we will be homeless. I'm sure we'll figure out something, I just go for dramatic effect.
Hug your families tight and always tell them you love them.
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